Wedding Elections 101

You just said YES to THE question and the ring is sparkling on your hand.  But before the blush has worn off the happy couple the next question lands:  When? Before you start the constant decision making process of gowns, reception halls, guest lists, and flowers have you paused and looked up?  To the sky that is.  Welcome to Wedding Elections 101.

Picking out wedding date is like picking out the birthday for your marriage.  By taking the stars into account, you can see how your union will support desires for kids, your careers, and your individuality all at the same time.  What counts the most is when you say your vows.  Go ahead and plan your rustic autumn reception in the barn or the tropical destination celebration on the beach, but even more importantly, choose the day you will solidify your marriage.  

Why Astrology?

The sky can give an amazing viewpoint of where your struggles will be in your marriage as well as your points of ease.  It can set the stage for prosperity, happiness, and give you insights as to what areas might be sources of tension.  Also know there may not be an absolute PERFECT day, but it’s a matter of picking out what is optimal for you and working with what you have.  

What’s even better is you can do this yourself by following a few cardinal rules.  If you have the time, get a calendar and head to www.astro.com to start looking for days.  

The Basics:

Venus

This planet represents the marriage itself.  Whatever you do, make sure Venus is not in Retrograde!  This is a must.  On average, Venus retrogrades for about 6 weeks every 18 months.  When Venus is in retrograde, you are adding a level of complication you don’t have to have.  It may mean there could be additional tests to your union.  You could be setting up energy where you need to restore or rework the union in the future.  Is it completely unworkable?  No, but if you can avoid it, do.  

Take a big red pen and cross off all the days when Venus is in retrograde.  For 2020 those days are May 13 – June 25.  Venus will be direct in 2021 and 2022.

A happy Venus is your foundation.  She truly characterizes the whole marriage.  For the strongest placements, look for times when Venus is in Taurus, Pisces, and Libra.  Try to avoid Venus in Aries (more of an independent marriage or quick flight of fancy), Venus in Virgo (a bit nit-picky at times), or Venus in Scorpio (intense).  Let her shine by being supportive and loving.  

Venus in Taurus:  March 4, 2020 – March 20, 2020 

Venus in Libra:  October 27, 2020 – November 20, 2020. (However remember Mars will be in retrograde until November 14, 2020…more on this in a second).

As a bonus, to ensure kind words and supportive emotions, try to make sure Venus is in a trine, sextile, or conjunction to Mercury or the Moon.  All of these works well.

Mars

For 2020, Mars will also be in retrograde from September 9, 2020 – November 14, 2020.  If at all possible, try to avoid getting married during these dates.  Mars retrograde has a tendency to  asks us to doubt our actions.  This could be as simple as someone having cold feet or setting the stage for someone constantly questioning if marrying was the best decision.  

Saturn

Many people fear Saturn, but he’s really a help in a wedding chart.  This planet governs tradition and time endurance.  It’s wonderful to have a a Moon, Sun, Venus, or the planet that rules the chart in a sextile or trine to the planet that rules time itself.  You are just adding that foundation to the house of your marriage.  On another note, please avoid Sun square Saturn. This makes it so hard to grow together as a couple.  With this aspect, you are begging for frustration as the individuals are fighting to identify themselves in the marriage.  

Days to Avoid:  April 19, 2020 –  May 20, 2020

September 22, 2020 – October 22, 2020. 

Sun and Moon 

One of the cardinal rules of wedding date selection is to make sure the Sun and Moon are in a supportive aspect to one another.  The Sun and Moon represent you and your partner and you want to make sure that relationship is a friendly one as the years progress.  Aim for either a trine (120 degrees) or a sextile (60 degrees) between these two planets.  This will ensure you two will be sitting together sipping pina coladas on a cruise ship in retirement or rocking on the front porch watching a sunset.

Many brides envision themselves saying their vows on a beach at sunset or during a full moon.  While this sounds wonderful, the symbolism screams NO!  During full moons, the Sun and Moon are opposing one another which really sets up a dynamic of making choices me vs. you throughout the marriage. 

Sunsets

And as for riding off into the sunset? A wedding at sunset really does indicate that it’s going to take some work to get one of you fully into the marriage.  At sunset, the Sun is merging into the horizon and moving into the 6th house of work.  One of you won’t be fully present in the marriage by either yielding all of their personality into the marriage or escaping into work.  A marriage is about two people coming together to celebrate their individuality and active choice to be in the union.  Go ahead and make the wedding celebration and reception on the beach at sunset, but get thee to a courthouse beforehand to solidify your legal vows.

Eclipses

Likewise, avoid eclipse dates.  This just sets up an intensity that you don’t need in your marriage.  Generally speaking, eclipses always symbolize endings. I would definitely pick a new moon over a full moon any day.  Ideally, you would want a moon that is building from the new moon up to the full moon (waxing).  This symbolizes the ability to grow together.

Ideal signs for the moon:  Taurus or Cancer.  The moon are in each of these signs once a month.

Mercury Retrogrades

If you can, try to avoid Mercury retrogrades.  I’ve had others get married with it in retrograde and something went wrong.  The officiant was late, the paperwork wasn’t right, travel was affected, and so forth.  With one wedding, the busses never showed up to take the guests to the church.  Imagine feeling stood up by your whole congregation!  It’s not the end of the world, but it will test your sense of humor.  

Mercury Retrograde in 2020:  February 16 – March 9

June 18 – July 12

October 13 – November 3

Venus and Mars

These two planets are the indicators for you physical intimacy.  For a spicy sex life, Venus trine or sextile Mars is a great aspect to have in a wedding chart.  But make sure these two planets are not in a square (90 degrees) or opposition (180 degrees).  You will find with difficult aspects, “Sorry, not tonight, I have a headache,” could be a common phrase.  

A word to longevity:  sparks do fade over time and that is ok.  This is why it’s important to lean into the Sun/Moon aspect.

Timing of the Day

So now that you’ve picked your date, it’s time to time the chart by the hour.  Avoid placing the Sun, Moon, or Venus in the 6th or 12th house.  An easy way to eliminate the Sun being in the 6th or 12th is to really avoid two hours right after sunrise or sunset.  There are some faith traditions that prefer weddings at sunset.  

Try to get the ruler of the Ascendant in the 7th house if possible.  

Try to get the Moon in the 7th, 10th, 4th, or 1st house.  

Word to the Wise

Wedding elections aren’t the end of the world!  What matters the most is that you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.  Every marriage has ups and downs and wedding elections just give you an extra boost to your foundation.  My parents didn’t use astrology to get married and they’ve been together for 46 years!  You can totally see where their sticky points are in the chart, but they have made it work well.  

Also know that 2020 is a rough one to pick out optimal dates for even seasoned astrologers so don’t pull your hair out too much.  

I’m happy to help either as a second opinion or do the whole thing for you!  I offer a full service wedding astrology consultation.  For more information click here.

Midlife Transits: Neptune Square Neptune

There comes a point in midlife when you start to confront that dream of what your life was supposed to look like. Welcome to Neptune Square Neptune.

“The dream” took shape through many different influences.  It could’ve been your grandfather pressuring you to take on the family business.  It could have been that promise of a blank passport and a hope to have all the stamps of the world by the time you were 40.  It could have been the dream of the white picket fence you had idolized and the framed diplomas in the home office.  

At some point we take spiritual inventory not only to wonder how did I get here, but where did I get these ideas of where I should be and are these ideas and all the “shoulds” worth claiming as mine?  If they aren’t, then it’s time to clean house.  

This transit is a really an internal one, but you see it manifest in outward ways.  People start either reconnecting to family or distancing themselves.  They start going back to church or exploring spiritual rituals.  People start thinking of how to align their life with their values.  The topics hit are highlighted by the areas of their birth charts that are affected.

When people aren’t liking what they are seeing and don’t know what to do with this energy, you find the lower manifestation of Neptune.  It comes about through distraction or procrastination.  What can I escape into so I can avoid the real emotional work?  Social media?  Binge watching shows?  Alcohol?  Shopping?  Workaholic tendencies?

My Natal Neptune hangs out in my 3rd house of elementary education, communication, neighborhoods, and social community.  That square lit up those house topics like a Christmas tree!  We had an awful time trying to figure out if we should keep him in the neighborhood school or try for the charter STEM school.  I was worried about finding friends for both him and our family.  I was worried about his learning style.  And I was replaying the old tapes I had growing up when my family went back and forth between public and private education.  We finally decided to put our name into the ring and turn to something very off the beaten path of Feng Shui, as a spiritual practice (it was squaring my 12th house), to give ourselves the best chance, but let it go into the hands of the Universe. Long story short, he was accepted, and I opened my boundaries back up to astromagick, manifesting, and the power of intention.

When Neptune squares are done well you can see an integration with that person. They resolve the shoulds with what their souls desire. You can expect your Neptune Square to occur around 40-42 and it will last about 2 years.  Let me know if I can help you find when and where your Neptune square will be occurring in your chart.

For part one of my Midlife Transit Series, Go to Pluto Square Pluto.

Midlife Transits: Pluto Square Pluto

Pluto doesn’t get his due.  This poor guy at the edge of our solar system was a planet and then got demoted, but we astrologers still consider him very important.  He is the planet that represents power and transformation.  He is considered a generational planet as he moves so slowly.  But when and where you experience a transit from Pluto, it can be life-altering.

For example, he is a big part in the trio of transits that constitute that mid-life crisis.  Typically the first one that hits is Transit Neptune square Natal Neptune.  Second is this Transit Pluto square Natal Pluto.  And third is Transit Uranus Oppose Natal Uranus.  (When I say “Transit” that is astrologers-speak for what is going on in the sky right now.  “Natal” refers to what the sky looked like the day you were born.)

Somewhere between the ages of 36-60, Pluto moves across the sky to a 90 degree angle and squares the point where your natal Pluto was in your birth chart.  This is a major aspect that indicates a crisis point.  But it is important to remember that crisis doesn’t always mean breakdown, but can often mean breakthrough.  The symbol for “crisis” in Japanese means danger and opportunity.  This is a window to do something different.  

Mid-life is the perfect time to evaluate the question:  Is this what I want?  You have enough life experience and perspective to compare it to what you were born into, your roots, and the way your parents way of doing things.  And you have enough independence and gumption to change the path whether it is staying the course or changing your sails and switching direction.

Pluto’s square lasts around 12 – 18 months.  He moves slowly around the zodiac and so this is the BIG drama that he plays out in a lifetime.  He represents the source of your personal power and regeneration.  This is the time to really evaluate if something or someone is limiting your growth.  Typically it is something from your past that you were comfortable with.  And many times, it can be as simple as an innate belief.

For me, Pluto’s square hit me when I became pregnant and then a stay at home mom.  My natal Pluto is in my 10th house of career, which is where I identified myself.  What I did what synonymous with who I was.  When I gave up my public persona, the job titles, and the upward path I felt completely lost.  It was almost an 18 month journey before I became comfortable with telling people I stayed at home with my son vs. my long insecure soapbox about me taking a break from my career but I could go back because of my masters degrees yadda yadda yadda.  It was crazy.  I was that person people slowly backed away from at cocktail parties regretting they asked a simple question to start conversations flowing.  But by the end of the transit I was finally comfortable with myself and I released the old me.  

Below is a table that gives a rough guide to when you can expect this transit.

Birth Year Age

1940 45

1945 42

1950 50

1955 39

1960 37

1965 36

1970 36

1975 36

1980 38

1985 40

1990 43

1995 47

2000 51

2005 56

2010 61

2015 66

Like always, if you are interested in where Pluto is asking you to transform your life, please book a reading with me through my consultation page!

Uranus Square Mars

Let’s get into the nitty gritty, shall we?

2018 has been colored with a few points of frustration.  There have been multiple planets retrograding and then there is the Uranus square Mars aspect.

Mars takes about 2.5 years to go around the solar system completely.  But what makes 2018 a bit more of a stand out year is that it toiled across Uranus not once, not twice, but THREE times in a matter of a few months.  This is because it was traveling direct when it crossed paths with Uranus  about May 16th at 2:18 AM (CDT) in North America.  Then Mars went retrograde and hit Uranus square a second time on August 1st at 9:30 PM (CDT) in North America.  Then it turned direct once more and pushed its way forward squaring Uranus for the third time on September 17th at 5:44 PM (CDT) in North America.  That’s a lot of unexpected energy folks!

Uranus is the planet of unexpected change and surprises.  It is an outer planet, meaning that it usually brings change from outside forces vs. internal revolution.  Something happens to us vs. us acting on our environment.  Mars is the planet of motivation, action, aggression, and will.  It is an inner planet so think of things like internal drive.  When you combine these forces you have a crisis point, which ultimately is what squares are all about.

Any aspect, (like a square, trine, conjunction, or opposition), just describes the relationship between the planets.  So think of a dinner party for example.  There are some people that are just annoying.  That, my friends, is the energy of a square.  And sometimes you run into these annoying people over and over again which is exactly what happened with Uranus and Mars in May, August, and September.

There are times when these transits can manifest as literal experiences.  Just this morning, my friend called me in a panic to help her run carpool because her car stopped working and all the warning lights came on.  Hello, Mars (driving to work/school), and Uranus (unexpected) and square (annoyance).  I just about spit out my coffee when I realized the manifestation of this transit.

Other times the transits can be subtle patterns.  Like that little urge to rebel against work, thus “sticking it to the man,” or the “out of the blue” aggressive comment that you didn’t see coming from a friend.  It could be that your workout got disrupted. It could even be something like a physical injury.  All of these are Mars/Uranus themes.  They aren’t going to be hard lasting changes, but more like small disruptions.  Think back to the other dates and see what similar themes or patterns emerge.  People are like, “Psshh, workouts have nothing to do with my car.”  One critique of astrology is that it is too vague.  Oh, boy, NOT when you know your birth data and you can pin point exactly what realms are getting hit.  That is EXACTLY why you need a professional astrologer.

While the energy can be similar, the one thing that is unique is what areas in your personal chart the aspects hitting.  Is it hitting your secrets and career areas?  What about your siblings and self identity?  If you are finding this information to be a bit more of an ah-ha moment and want more insight, hit me up.  It might be worth a reading to see what topics are lit up and what innovations will be integrated into your life as you move forward.