Wedding Elections 101

You just said YES to THE question and the ring is sparkling on your hand.  But before the blush has worn off the happy couple the next question lands:  When? Before you start the constant decision making process of gowns, reception halls, guest lists, and flowers have you paused and looked up?  To the sky that is.  Welcome to Wedding Elections 101.

Picking out wedding date is like picking out the birthday for your marriage.  By taking the stars into account, you can see how your union will support desires for kids, your careers, and your individuality all at the same time.  What counts the most is when you say your vows.  Go ahead and plan your rustic autumn reception in the barn or the tropical destination celebration on the beach, but even more importantly, choose the day you will solidify your marriage.  

Why Astrology?

The sky can give an amazing viewpoint of where your struggles will be in your marriage as well as your points of ease.  It can set the stage for prosperity, happiness, and give you insights as to what areas might be sources of tension.  Also know there may not be an absolute PERFECT day, but it’s a matter of picking out what is optimal for you and working with what you have.  

What’s even better is you can do this yourself by following a few cardinal rules.  If you have the time, get a calendar and head to www.astro.com to start looking for days.  

The Basics:

Venus

This planet represents the marriage itself.  Whatever you do, make sure Venus is not in Retrograde!  This is a must.  On average, Venus retrogrades for about 6 weeks every 18 months.  When Venus is in retrograde, you are adding a level of complication you don’t have to have.  It may mean there could be additional tests to your union.  You could be setting up energy where you need to restore or rework the union in the future.  Is it completely unworkable?  No, but if you can avoid it, do.  

Take a big red pen and cross off all the days when Venus is in retrograde.  For 2020 those days are May 13 – June 25.  Venus will be direct in 2021 and 2022.

A happy Venus is your foundation.  She truly characterizes the whole marriage.  For the strongest placements, look for times when Venus is in Taurus, Pisces, and Libra.  Try to avoid Venus in Aries (more of an independent marriage or quick flight of fancy), Venus in Virgo (a bit nit-picky at times), or Venus in Scorpio (intense).  Let her shine by being supportive and loving.  

Venus in Taurus:  March 4, 2020 – March 20, 2020 

Venus in Libra:  October 27, 2020 – November 20, 2020. (However remember Mars will be in retrograde until November 14, 2020…more on this in a second).

As a bonus, to ensure kind words and supportive emotions, try to make sure Venus is in a trine, sextile, or conjunction to Mercury or the Moon.  All of these works well.

Mars

For 2020, Mars will also be in retrograde from September 9, 2020 – November 14, 2020.  If at all possible, try to avoid getting married during these dates.  Mars retrograde has a tendency to  asks us to doubt our actions.  This could be as simple as someone having cold feet or setting the stage for someone constantly questioning if marrying was the best decision.  

Saturn

Many people fear Saturn, but he’s really a help in a wedding chart.  This planet governs tradition and time endurance.  It’s wonderful to have a a Moon, Sun, Venus, or the planet that rules the chart in a sextile or trine to the planet that rules time itself.  You are just adding that foundation to the house of your marriage.  On another note, please avoid Sun square Saturn. This makes it so hard to grow together as a couple.  With this aspect, you are begging for frustration as the individuals are fighting to identify themselves in the marriage.  

Days to Avoid:  April 19, 2020 –  May 20, 2020

September 22, 2020 – October 22, 2020. 

Sun and Moon 

One of the cardinal rules of wedding date selection is to make sure the Sun and Moon are in a supportive aspect to one another.  The Sun and Moon represent you and your partner and you want to make sure that relationship is a friendly one as the years progress.  Aim for either a trine (120 degrees) or a sextile (60 degrees) between these two planets.  This will ensure you two will be sitting together sipping pina coladas on a cruise ship in retirement or rocking on the front porch watching a sunset.

Many brides envision themselves saying their vows on a beach at sunset or during a full moon.  While this sounds wonderful, the symbolism screams NO!  During full moons, the Sun and Moon are opposing one another which really sets up a dynamic of making choices me vs. you throughout the marriage. 

Sunsets

And as for riding off into the sunset? A wedding at sunset really does indicate that it’s going to take some work to get one of you fully into the marriage.  At sunset, the Sun is merging into the horizon and moving into the 6th house of work.  One of you won’t be fully present in the marriage by either yielding all of their personality into the marriage or escaping into work.  A marriage is about two people coming together to celebrate their individuality and active choice to be in the union.  Go ahead and make the wedding celebration and reception on the beach at sunset, but get thee to a courthouse beforehand to solidify your legal vows.

Eclipses

Likewise, avoid eclipse dates.  This just sets up an intensity that you don’t need in your marriage.  Generally speaking, eclipses always symbolize endings. I would definitely pick a new moon over a full moon any day.  Ideally, you would want a moon that is building from the new moon up to the full moon (waxing).  This symbolizes the ability to grow together.

Ideal signs for the moon:  Taurus or Cancer.  The moon are in each of these signs once a month.

Mercury Retrogrades

If you can, try to avoid Mercury retrogrades.  I’ve had others get married with it in retrograde and something went wrong.  The officiant was late, the paperwork wasn’t right, travel was affected, and so forth.  With one wedding, the busses never showed up to take the guests to the church.  Imagine feeling stood up by your whole congregation!  It’s not the end of the world, but it will test your sense of humor.  

Mercury Retrograde in 2020:  February 16 – March 9

June 18 – July 12

October 13 – November 3

Venus and Mars

These two planets are the indicators for you physical intimacy.  For a spicy sex life, Venus trine or sextile Mars is a great aspect to have in a wedding chart.  But make sure these two planets are not in a square (90 degrees) or opposition (180 degrees).  You will find with difficult aspects, “Sorry, not tonight, I have a headache,” could be a common phrase.  

A word to longevity:  sparks do fade over time and that is ok.  This is why it’s important to lean into the Sun/Moon aspect.

Timing of the Day

So now that you’ve picked your date, it’s time to time the chart by the hour.  Avoid placing the Sun, Moon, or Venus in the 6th or 12th house.  An easy way to eliminate the Sun being in the 6th or 12th is to really avoid two hours right after sunrise or sunset.  There are some faith traditions that prefer weddings at sunset.  

Try to get the ruler of the Ascendant in the 7th house if possible.  

Try to get the Moon in the 7th, 10th, 4th, or 1st house.  

Word to the Wise

Wedding elections aren’t the end of the world!  What matters the most is that you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.  Every marriage has ups and downs and wedding elections just give you an extra boost to your foundation.  My parents didn’t use astrology to get married and they’ve been together for 46 years!  You can totally see where their sticky points are in the chart, but they have made it work well.  

Also know that 2020 is a rough one to pick out optimal dates for even seasoned astrologers so don’t pull your hair out too much.  

I’m happy to help either as a second opinion or do the whole thing for you!  I offer a full service wedding astrology consultation.  For more information click here.

Going Deep with Mercury in Scorpio

Let’s spend some time talking about Mercury in Scorpio, shall we?  Normally this quick moving planet of communication and commerce spends on average about 30 days in each sign.  But this month he moved into Scorpio on October 4th and is staying there until December 1st.  I’d say it’s high time for us to get to know this energy. 

Deep Thinker, Deep Communicator

The nature of Mercury deals with our mental power and how we communicate.  He is the electricity between our nerve synapses and the magnetic flow that keeps our compass pointing North.  Mercury stands for our mind and our intellect.  It’s how we decide and show our understanding.  

Mercury in Water signs (Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio) reacts to emotional situations and feels comfortable when feelings are expressed.  This planet digs deep into the emotional caverns of what hasn’t been explored in a long time.  Mercury in Scorpio is a sharp thinker and will answer questions with better questions.  He can either drown people with too much information like a raging river when he wants a connection, or will dry up the well and sting when trying to evade.

Retrograde = Series of 3!

The reason why Mercury is hanging out in Scorpio for so long is because he’s going turn retrograde on Halloween for about 3 weeks.  Once he stations direct and goes forward again he has to retread all that old ground he already covered.  What does that mean for us?  Well, we will probably encounter a Series of 3.  Events of a similar nature are going to unfold for you like sequels of a movie 3x.  As the planet grinds back and forth (direct – retrograde – direct), we get the same transit 3x.

When this transit is occurring, expect longer conversations about harder and previously hidden topics. And remember that Series of 3 retrograde maneuver?  Watch for it on October 25th, November 10th, and again on December 3rd when Mercury will be in a sextile to Pluto in Capricorn.  Pluto likes to transform the conversation and bring out what’s private so that’s going to be the theme of that trilogy. Keep your eye out for uncovered truths.  Things will not go back to how they were.

Retrogrades

Let’s talk retrogrades, shall we?

Like everyone new to astrology, the mention of Mercury retrograde sends one into a Chicken Little frenzy.  Every thing that goes wrong gets blamed on Mercury retrograde.  It could be a simple as your plane getting delayed, phone on the fritz, or a complete wipe out of your hard drive.  Everyone is convinced the sky is falling.

Earlier this year we had 5 planets in retrograde at the same time.  Was it intense?  Oh my goodness, yes!  But, look!  We made it to the other side!!

All of this is to say that (dun, dun, dun), today is the eve of Venus going retrograde in Scorpio around 2:05 PM CDT on October 5, 2018.  What does this mean?  Well, let’s get into that in a minute, but first I’d like to give some perspective on retrogrades.

While we say planets go retrograde (aka travel backwards), it is all a matter of perception.  Since the cavemen days we have observed this phenomenon.  Planets really do not go backwards in their orbits.  As the Earth goes faster than the other planets around the sun, we pass them and so it just looks like they are going backwards.  Think of Olympic runners on the track.  Everyone is running the race and going forward around the track (orbiting the sun), but for the faster person who is passing the slower runner,  it looks like the slower runner is going backwards as they outpace them.  Does that make sense?

Every planet goes retrograde.  Mercury gets talked about the most because it is the fastest orbiter to the sun and thus we see this more often.  It happens about 3x a year so we feel its effects a lot more frequently.  I think because we see it more often and that most of our day to day involves things that are governed by Mercury, it feels impactful.  Mercury governs all communication, electronics, and travel.

The good part about retrogrades is that they let us RE-do or RE-work things that weren’t correctly addressed in the first place.  I like the idea of the universe giving us a shot to fix things.  It also gives us a chance to do some introspection and RE-assess our goals.  Nothing is perfect which is a perfectly wonderful meta-lesson for us to learn.  The shadow side is that this time can be frustrating.  I’m a pretty impatient person, so having to do anything twice is like pulling my hair out.

Like I mentioned earlier, every planet goes retrograde.  Note that the Sun, Moon, and Earth do not retrograde.  It all depends on perspective.  Everyone orbits the sun; the moon orbits us; and we live on Earth.  But here is a rough timetable of how the planets retrograde play out:

  • Mercury goes retrograde every 3-4 months for about 21 days.
  • Venus goes retrograde every 18 months or so for about 40 days .
  • Mars goes retrograde every 2 – 2.5 years for about 50-80 days.
  • Saturn goes retrograde about every year for about 138 days.
  • Jupiter goes retrograde about every year for 121 days.
  • Uranus goes retrograde every year for about 151 days.
  • Neptune goes retrograde every year for about 158 days.
  • Pluto goes retrograde every year and spends 5-6 months there.

As you can tell with the frequency, it is more of a common occurrence that someone will have at least one planet in retrograde in their natal chart.  So why do astrologers pay attention to retrogrades if they are that common?  Well, because each planet tells us what is at play.  For example, Venus happens to speak to our relationships but also our finances we earn and our self-worth.  Also, if you were born with a planet in retrograde and it goes into retrograde presently, then it may feel more like a homecoming vs. an exile.

And then depending upon which sign it is traveling in tells us what area its going to be affecting.  So sticking with our impending retrograde as the example, Scorpio deals with intensity, secrets, and power.  But exactly where this occurs depends on your specific chart.  Scorpio may be the house of children for one person, but the house of parents for another.  Can you see where I’m going with this?

The dates of the retrograde are important because it gives us timing tools.  Activity around dates planets stationing retrograde (at the beginning) or going direct (at the end) can be stronger.  Then if the planet is crossing an important angle or degree for you in your chart can be enlightening for specific timing.  And that, my friends, is why knowing your chart is really, really helpful.