Wedding Elections 101

You just said YES to THE question and the ring is sparkling on your hand.  But before the blush has worn off the happy couple the next question lands:  When? Before you start the constant decision making process of gowns, reception halls, guest lists, and flowers have you paused and looked up?  To the sky that is.  Welcome to Wedding Elections 101.

Picking out wedding date is like picking out the birthday for your marriage.  By taking the stars into account, you can see how your union will support desires for kids, your careers, and your individuality all at the same time.  What counts the most is when you say your vows.  Go ahead and plan your rustic autumn reception in the barn or the tropical destination celebration on the beach, but even more importantly, choose the day you will solidify your marriage.  

Why Astrology?

The sky can give an amazing viewpoint of where your struggles will be in your marriage as well as your points of ease.  It can set the stage for prosperity, happiness, and give you insights as to what areas might be sources of tension.  Also know there may not be an absolute PERFECT day, but it’s a matter of picking out what is optimal for you and working with what you have.  

What’s even better is you can do this yourself by following a few cardinal rules.  If you have the time, get a calendar and head to www.astro.com to start looking for days.  

The Basics:

Venus

This planet represents the marriage itself.  Whatever you do, make sure Venus is not in Retrograde!  This is a must.  On average, Venus retrogrades for about 6 weeks every 18 months.  When Venus is in retrograde, you are adding a level of complication you don’t have to have.  It may mean there could be additional tests to your union.  You could be setting up energy where you need to restore or rework the union in the future.  Is it completely unworkable?  No, but if you can avoid it, do.  

Take a big red pen and cross off all the days when Venus is in retrograde.  For 2020 those days are May 13 – June 25.  Venus will be direct in 2021 and 2022.

A happy Venus is your foundation.  She truly characterizes the whole marriage.  For the strongest placements, look for times when Venus is in Taurus, Pisces, and Libra.  Try to avoid Venus in Aries (more of an independent marriage or quick flight of fancy), Venus in Virgo (a bit nit-picky at times), or Venus in Scorpio (intense).  Let her shine by being supportive and loving.  

Venus in Taurus:  March 4, 2020 – March 20, 2020 

Venus in Libra:  October 27, 2020 – November 20, 2020. (However remember Mars will be in retrograde until November 14, 2020…more on this in a second).

As a bonus, to ensure kind words and supportive emotions, try to make sure Venus is in a trine, sextile, or conjunction to Mercury or the Moon.  All of these works well.

Mars

For 2020, Mars will also be in retrograde from September 9, 2020 – November 14, 2020.  If at all possible, try to avoid getting married during these dates.  Mars retrograde has a tendency to  asks us to doubt our actions.  This could be as simple as someone having cold feet or setting the stage for someone constantly questioning if marrying was the best decision.  

Saturn

Many people fear Saturn, but he’s really a help in a wedding chart.  This planet governs tradition and time endurance.  It’s wonderful to have a a Moon, Sun, Venus, or the planet that rules the chart in a sextile or trine to the planet that rules time itself.  You are just adding that foundation to the house of your marriage.  On another note, please avoid Sun square Saturn. This makes it so hard to grow together as a couple.  With this aspect, you are begging for frustration as the individuals are fighting to identify themselves in the marriage.  

Days to Avoid:  April 19, 2020 –  May 20, 2020

September 22, 2020 – October 22, 2020. 

Sun and Moon 

One of the cardinal rules of wedding date selection is to make sure the Sun and Moon are in a supportive aspect to one another.  The Sun and Moon represent you and your partner and you want to make sure that relationship is a friendly one as the years progress.  Aim for either a trine (120 degrees) or a sextile (60 degrees) between these two planets.  This will ensure you two will be sitting together sipping pina coladas on a cruise ship in retirement or rocking on the front porch watching a sunset.

Many brides envision themselves saying their vows on a beach at sunset or during a full moon.  While this sounds wonderful, the symbolism screams NO!  During full moons, the Sun and Moon are opposing one another which really sets up a dynamic of making choices me vs. you throughout the marriage. 

Sunsets

And as for riding off into the sunset? A wedding at sunset really does indicate that it’s going to take some work to get one of you fully into the marriage.  At sunset, the Sun is merging into the horizon and moving into the 6th house of work.  One of you won’t be fully present in the marriage by either yielding all of their personality into the marriage or escaping into work.  A marriage is about two people coming together to celebrate their individuality and active choice to be in the union.  Go ahead and make the wedding celebration and reception on the beach at sunset, but get thee to a courthouse beforehand to solidify your legal vows.

Eclipses

Likewise, avoid eclipse dates.  This just sets up an intensity that you don’t need in your marriage.  Generally speaking, eclipses always symbolize endings. I would definitely pick a new moon over a full moon any day.  Ideally, you would want a moon that is building from the new moon up to the full moon (waxing).  This symbolizes the ability to grow together.

Ideal signs for the moon:  Taurus or Cancer.  The moon are in each of these signs once a month.

Mercury Retrogrades

If you can, try to avoid Mercury retrogrades.  I’ve had others get married with it in retrograde and something went wrong.  The officiant was late, the paperwork wasn’t right, travel was affected, and so forth.  With one wedding, the busses never showed up to take the guests to the church.  Imagine feeling stood up by your whole congregation!  It’s not the end of the world, but it will test your sense of humor.  

Mercury Retrograde in 2020:  February 16 – March 9

June 18 – July 12

October 13 – November 3

Venus and Mars

These two planets are the indicators for you physical intimacy.  For a spicy sex life, Venus trine or sextile Mars is a great aspect to have in a wedding chart.  But make sure these two planets are not in a square (90 degrees) or opposition (180 degrees).  You will find with difficult aspects, “Sorry, not tonight, I have a headache,” could be a common phrase.  

A word to longevity:  sparks do fade over time and that is ok.  This is why it’s important to lean into the Sun/Moon aspect.

Timing of the Day

So now that you’ve picked your date, it’s time to time the chart by the hour.  Avoid placing the Sun, Moon, or Venus in the 6th or 12th house.  An easy way to eliminate the Sun being in the 6th or 12th is to really avoid two hours right after sunrise or sunset.  There are some faith traditions that prefer weddings at sunset.  

Try to get the ruler of the Ascendant in the 7th house if possible.  

Try to get the Moon in the 7th, 10th, 4th, or 1st house.  

Word to the Wise

Wedding elections aren’t the end of the world!  What matters the most is that you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.  Every marriage has ups and downs and wedding elections just give you an extra boost to your foundation.  My parents didn’t use astrology to get married and they’ve been together for 46 years!  You can totally see where their sticky points are in the chart, but they have made it work well.  

Also know that 2020 is a rough one to pick out optimal dates for even seasoned astrologers so don’t pull your hair out too much.  

I’m happy to help either as a second opinion or do the whole thing for you!  I offer a full service wedding astrology consultation.  For more information click here.

Uranus in Taurus + Horoscopes

Uranus, our planet of change and surprise, is starting a new 7 year tour in Taurus on March 6th.  He’s been hanging out in Aries since 2012, which has been a happy home for him.  Aries likes change, so for the pioneer of the zodiac to host the innovative planet of Uranus has been a pretty good fit for the two of them.  But come March 6th, Uranus meets up with Taurus, our sign of fixed resources, stability, and safety.  Can you see how this is like an athlete running into a pit of qucksand?  Taurus, the bull, likes to start things slow.  She holds her cards close to her chest and carefully deliberates if she has the time and the resources to dedicate to the suggested proposal.  But once she makes a decision she is ALL IN and it can be hard to change her course.  Uranus is not going to like Taurus’s new speed limits, but will enjoy how easy things come together once the resources are there.  

Uranus is an outer planet; one that manifests things on a societal level.  And astrologers have been excited about this shift for years.  The last time Uranus was in Taurus was 76 years ago when things like the Great Depression and WWII was occurring.  So this time around, they have been wondering what could come of this and some ideas have been to watch things like banking or cryptocurrency or even innovations in how we get our food.  Taurus is ruled by Venus who is in charge of resources.  I giggled when I realized that Freakonomics, a podcast I listen to, released an episode titled, “The Future of Meat,” on February 13th.  Good hell, is their editor an astrologer?  The timing cracked me up.  Personally I’m waiting to see how tax structures are going to continue to change in the USA, the stock market will evolve, and even the heads in high couture fashion are about to pass the torches of power to redefine what we find beautiful as a society.  

We did have a little bit of a preview of what Uranus in Taurus felt like in May 2018 before it slipped back into Aries.  Do you remember what happened?  The earth literally quaked.  Hawaii’s Kilauea volcano erupted and swallowed up whole communities.  Talk about immediate change to people’s key place of feeling safe:  their homes.  In fact the first major summit explosion of the volcano erupted the exact day Uranus entered Taurus on May 15th.  Come March 6th, 2018 Uranus will be in Taurus until 2026.  It will be interesting to see what types of earth shaking events happen this time around.

One way to focus on how Uranus might manifest is to see where Taurus is in your chart.  Please read these Uranus in Taurus Horoscopes for your Sun and your Rising Sign if you know them.

Aries Sun/Aries Rising:  The focus is shifting to how you want to redefine your concept of self-worth over the next 7 years.  Does your self worth shift up and down mirroring your bank account balance? Or is it independent and radiate from within?  You have a chance to radicalize your savings, your earnings, and how you value yourself.

Taurus Sun/Taurus Rising:  It is time to take those last 7 years of self-care and put them into action.  All of those daydreams of what “could be” are now on the edge of manifesting themselves into reality.  Will it take work?  Yes, but as a Taurus once you set your mind there is no stopping you.  Let that bull energy work for you.

Gemini Sun/Gemini Rising:  After watching the political scene and all of the talking from both sides, you need a break.  It’s been hard watching friends pivot and dodge the rhetoric while preserving friendships.  And as a Gemini, you can see each side of the coin.  Sometimes being the mediator can be too much.  Now is the time to retreat and concentrate on your own inner compass.  

Cancer Sun/Cancer Rising:  The planet of change has been wrapping up his tour of your career sector over the past 7 years and that area will become more stable.  Get ready for some of your societal ideals to be challenged. It’s time to reform the area of your life where you socialize with like-minded people, whether thats large groups or even your closest inner circle.  

Leo Sun/Leo Rising:  For the past 7 years you’ve been expanding your mind to figure out where you fit in the world, and now it is time to take the spotlight.  Don’t feel alarmed if you feel like where you shine feels like a natural place to bask one minute and you own it then the next minute you feel the need to clam up and retreat.  This is all part of the process.  Careers and reputations weren’t built overnight no matter what anyone says.

Virgo Sun/Virgo Rising:  It is your time to figure out who you really are, my virgo friend.  And the first place this starts is by expanding the mind.  You’ve got to figure out where you fit in whether that is by sitting in a classroom debating ideas or traveling the world.  The goal is the same; find out where you belong in humanity and set up roots that give you security.  It might be a good time to investigate going back to school or renewing your passport. 

Libra Sun/Libra Rising:  You have figured out who, but now you get to say what the boundaries are.  They say that the ultimate way to find out who you are is by merging with another person.  You are on the course to figuring out if other’s limitations fit within your own boundaries.  This could be financially, emotionally, or spiritually.  Uranus is entering your 8th house of individual power and resources of others.  Your goal is to figure out what feels protected and genuine for your own individuality.

Scorpio Sun/Scorpio Rising:  There could be some sudden comings and goings in your realm of partnerships.  Uranus is putting the spotlight into your 7th house to help you renegotiate who fits into sacred relationship with you.  The ultimate gift we share is ourselves and this is always done in relationships.  Use this time to find the person who is worthy enough to stand as your equal.  This could be any marriage or legal commitment.  It’s time to find out who is your balance.

Sagittarius Sun/Sagittarius Rising:  Daily habits create destiny.  It’s time for you to decide if your habits are giving you a true sense of security or the illusion of a safeguard.  Be aware of your daily choices as the 6th house rules your health and even your day to day routine and work environment.  This is where the change will be foundational.

Capricorn Sun/Capricorn Rising:  It’s easy to become complacent and not take risks.  It feels safe, but realize it are the risks that make us step out of ourselves and become more authentic.  It is when we are in that lightening moment of the “now” that creativity and our higher self manifests.  Being the same version of ourselves is irresponsible to our souls.  

Aquarius Sun/Aquarius Rising:  When you are plunged under an ocean wave and get turned around, the first thing you should do is stop swimming.  It sounds counter-intuitive, but true.  Instead, you should blow out your bubbles and watch where they are float “up.”  You will know where the surface is and can then start swimming to safety.  This is exactly where Uranus is hitting your chart:  the bottom of your chart where you do not have any control.  It is where we emerged from, the roots of our home life.  When change hits, especially in your home life, don’t panic.  Let yourself pause, find the path of the bubbles and let them guide you where to swim.

Pisces Sun/Pisces Rising:  The planet of transformation is getting ready to tour your house of social learning.  Think of where we first established our first social network:  our siblings and cousins became our first friends, we did our first negotiations on the playground, and we learned what life outside of our house was like in our community schools and churches.  These are the domains of where your focus will lie.  In the next 7 years, expect some reconnections and lost communications with those who sustain that part of your first community.  It’s also a good time to try learning a new skill, especially musically or writing, as the lessons you learn will become a life long gift.

Retrogrades

Let’s talk retrogrades, shall we?

Like everyone new to astrology, the mention of Mercury retrograde sends one into a Chicken Little frenzy.  Every thing that goes wrong gets blamed on Mercury retrograde.  It could be a simple as your plane getting delayed, phone on the fritz, or a complete wipe out of your hard drive.  Everyone is convinced the sky is falling.

Earlier this year we had 5 planets in retrograde at the same time.  Was it intense?  Oh my goodness, yes!  But, look!  We made it to the other side!!

All of this is to say that (dun, dun, dun), today is the eve of Venus going retrograde in Scorpio around 2:05 PM CDT on October 5, 2018.  What does this mean?  Well, let’s get into that in a minute, but first I’d like to give some perspective on retrogrades.

While we say planets go retrograde (aka travel backwards), it is all a matter of perception.  Since the cavemen days we have observed this phenomenon.  Planets really do not go backwards in their orbits.  As the Earth goes faster than the other planets around the sun, we pass them and so it just looks like they are going backwards.  Think of Olympic runners on the track.  Everyone is running the race and going forward around the track (orbiting the sun), but for the faster person who is passing the slower runner,  it looks like the slower runner is going backwards as they outpace them.  Does that make sense?

Every planet goes retrograde.  Mercury gets talked about the most because it is the fastest orbiter to the sun and thus we see this more often.  It happens about 3x a year so we feel its effects a lot more frequently.  I think because we see it more often and that most of our day to day involves things that are governed by Mercury, it feels impactful.  Mercury governs all communication, electronics, and travel.

The good part about retrogrades is that they let us RE-do or RE-work things that weren’t correctly addressed in the first place.  I like the idea of the universe giving us a shot to fix things.  It also gives us a chance to do some introspection and RE-assess our goals.  Nothing is perfect which is a perfectly wonderful meta-lesson for us to learn.  The shadow side is that this time can be frustrating.  I’m a pretty impatient person, so having to do anything twice is like pulling my hair out.

Like I mentioned earlier, every planet goes retrograde.  Note that the Sun, Moon, and Earth do not retrograde.  It all depends on perspective.  Everyone orbits the sun; the moon orbits us; and we live on Earth.  But here is a rough timetable of how the planets retrograde play out:

  • Mercury goes retrograde every 3-4 months for about 21 days.
  • Venus goes retrograde every 18 months or so for about 40 days .
  • Mars goes retrograde every 2 – 2.5 years for about 50-80 days.
  • Saturn goes retrograde about every year for about 138 days.
  • Jupiter goes retrograde about every year for 121 days.
  • Uranus goes retrograde every year for about 151 days.
  • Neptune goes retrograde every year for about 158 days.
  • Pluto goes retrograde every year and spends 5-6 months there.

As you can tell with the frequency, it is more of a common occurrence that someone will have at least one planet in retrograde in their natal chart.  So why do astrologers pay attention to retrogrades if they are that common?  Well, because each planet tells us what is at play.  For example, Venus happens to speak to our relationships but also our finances we earn and our self-worth.  Also, if you were born with a planet in retrograde and it goes into retrograde presently, then it may feel more like a homecoming vs. an exile.

And then depending upon which sign it is traveling in tells us what area its going to be affecting.  So sticking with our impending retrograde as the example, Scorpio deals with intensity, secrets, and power.  But exactly where this occurs depends on your specific chart.  Scorpio may be the house of children for one person, but the house of parents for another.  Can you see where I’m going with this?

The dates of the retrograde are important because it gives us timing tools.  Activity around dates planets stationing retrograde (at the beginning) or going direct (at the end) can be stronger.  Then if the planet is crossing an important angle or degree for you in your chart can be enlightening for specific timing.  And that, my friends, is why knowing your chart is really, really helpful.