Saturn in Capricorn

Saturn does not play.  It is separating in nature and cold.  It is inflexible and dry.  It is the embodiment of Scrooge.  It Is stern.  It teaches boundaries and discipline.  It is rigid, like the bones it governs in medical astrology.  It is the planet of hard work.  But for me, as a Capricorn rising, Saturn has always been a big planet for me to draw into my personal lens.

With Saturn whatever work given, the rewards will be earned.   It may take awhile though.  There are no short cuts but there will also be  second guessing once you hit the mark.   As a result, I tend to embrace this planet.  No use in swimming upstream when the current is pushing you forward.  You’ve got to work with what you have.  So I nestle right in with this ringed giant and see where it will take me.

Saturn is a slow ringed giant. It is the last planet we can see with the naked eye in the night sky.  For the longest time, it defined our outer limit of our solar system. It was known in prehistoric times but the rings were not seen until Gallieo in 1610.  The other outer planets weren’t discovered for an other 171 years until Uranus was noticed.  Its not a stretch to see why Saturn governs the idea of boundaries in general.  It takes 28.5 years to make one trip around the zodiac.  If the average person lives 90 years that individual will have 2-3 times to see the patterns it presents during a lifetime.  Any time Saturn is at its halfway mark and again when it returns to its natal station in a birth chart can mark big points of demarkation for the lessons its presenting.

I know Saturn.  It has been a BIG hitter for me my whole life.  My first Saturn opposition in 1991  manifested in my first knee surgery.  It ended up as a massive realignment knee surgery that ended my swimming career.  I got married the month of my first Saturn return in 2006 (and it conjoined the astroid Juno, symbolizing the wife).  My son was born the day Saturn crossed over my 10th house which led me to the decision of quitting my full time professional career which included two masters degrees and several administrative positions in large medical patriarchal institutions.  Saturn literally stepped in an restricted my projected career growth.  I became a full time stay at home mom.  Board room to board books, is what I called that step.  Saturns transits literally restructure my life.

As Saturn entered Capricorn in mid-December 2017, I figured I’d get to see this planet in action.  Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, so it is relatively happy there.  As the rest of the astrological community let out a collective groan anticipating the next 7 year chapter, I thought of all of the blessings that might happen.  Its in my first house of physical self, image, and body.   Bring on the restricted healthy diet and hard exercise!  I figured I would be in the best shape of my life by the end of this run.  That was the intention I set.  Let’s transform my physical self. I was ready.

I laid the ground work for this manifestation.  I went to gyms to interview them about their philosophy.   I booked a medical astrology consultation with Kira Sutherland.  I went back to my sports med doctors to get an all clear.  I got assigned to physical therapy for some rehab work, but hey, it was still early in the Saturn/Capricorn chapter, so some remediation is to be expected.

The first pass of Saturn over my Ascendant in February 2018 wasn’t eventful.  I waited to see what would happen with the retrograde motion after it stationed in April.Reality hit, and it hit hard.

In late June 2018, Saturn made an exact conjunction with my ascendant in early Capricorn.  I honestly didn’t expect things to be so bad.  The night before it went exact, I *decided* to do my own stunt work.  It was a perfect example of how not to do physical comedy.  I took a spill down the stairs while carrying two glass lanterns and heard loud crunching and popping from my ankles.  (But hey!  I saved the glass lanterns!!) The last thing you want to hear from your doctor is, “Oh my God, you are a Board question!”  That, in layman’s terms, means that my injuries were so bad and so complex that they use it as the more obscure question when they test doctors for certification.  I had torn 3 ligaments perfectly away from the bones.  Hello, Saturn.  A break would have been an easy fix:  6 weeks, maybe surgery, and you are on your way.  Ligaments?  They don’t grow back.  Once they are gone, the only thing you can do is cozy up with physical therapy and build the strength to support the structures that were once there.

It is now October and I am still in the boot.  To make matters a bit more complex I went back in for a knee injection last week.  The next day the moon went into Gemini in my 6th house and my knee blew up like a balloon.  It is the size of a cantaloupe.  I cannot bend it past 80 degrees.  I cannot walk on it.  When a joint swells, your body’s first reaction is to cut off the supporting muscles strength.  So my quad is useless.  It is its wise way of saying, “Stop.  You cannot use me.   You must rest.”

Sometimes the lesson of Saturn is to rest and allow others to help.  That, in itself, is the hard work.

We will see what November 9, 2018 brings when Saturn once again grinds across my ascendant degree in early Capricorn.  And again, when it makes its second opposition in 2022-2023.

 

Personal Progressions

It’s been a process y’all.  So here it all is in black and white:  my history and evolution.
For as long as I can remember my professional identity has been “clinical social worker.”  I had the loans, the hours of supervision, tomes of books, and CEU’s to prove it.  I reveled in who I was:  the first pediatric medical trauma social worker in the ER at a level 1 trauma center.  We served 5 states.  Our helicopters went all the way up to the Canadian border.  And I was good. I was responsive.  I stabilized families in crisis in their worst moments they could imagine.  At times I swear I felt I was channeling God and angels.  I felt spirits leave.  I was the one who the doctors and nurses called when they couldn’t handle things.  It was powerful.  It was my everything.  But it took a toll.  It also drained my soul.  There was something very intoxicating and alienating when people would say, “I don’t know if I could do what you do.”  You felt special.  You also felt alone.  After 7 years I was feeling worn and tattered around the edges.  And then I moved into management.  Let’s just say the stars aligned and I got an amazing opportunity to lead.  Little did I know, my 10th house was on fire and my first Saturn return was in full swing.  I wanted to revolutionize how family services was done and I believed I could do it.  But then I began dating my future seriously.  He became my focus and I had a choice to make.  Who’s career would dominate?  If I wanted to be with him, I had to leave my professional world I created and thrived in.

I left.  Or should I say, I arrived.  I arrived to my new chapter of my life as a wife and partner.  I was still a social worker.  But I wasn’t medical at first.  I was administration.  But I hated the world of county mental health.  Impulsively, I quit.  The bread winner just quit one day.  And my husband supported me completely.  He said we’d figure it out.  And we did.  My heart will forever be grateful.

Over the next few years we wrestled with fellowships, timing of starting a family, multiple moves, surgeries, and a second masters for me as I searched for another passion.  We landed in Wisconsin and shortly after taking a new job in medical administration, I became pregnant.  And with that came my new role of chief caretaker and stay-at-home-mom.  I laughed off the impact of this huge transition saying that I went from boardrooms to board books.  But I also knew, being the soccer mom with a minivan filled with cheerios and crayons was not my life passion.  It nurtured me in a different way as I learned how strong I was in a way I wasn’t before.  But while it nurtured my little candle in my heart, it did not fire my soul.

Somehow I started returning to the books that I discovered when I was 10.  The small esoteric collection I cultivated and moved through dozens of apartments, houses, and states.  The ones that talked about energy and the universe and synchronicity.  And I was ultimately drawn back to the more precise  art and science of astrology.

After discovering Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs in junior high I analyzed every friend I knew on their archetype and compatability, but I knew there was more.  I remember being devastated that my best friend was a libra and how that didn’t mesh so well with my virgo nature (and boy did it ring true!)  Slowly I began to learn about moon signs and rising signs over the course of 20 years.  But by the time my oldest was 3, I was investing hundreds of dollars into my education.  The fire was ignited.  I had my first professional astrology reading for my 39th birthday.  And it just kept snowballing from there.  Books, podcasts, seeking out a mentor, webinars, etc.  And did I mention books?  Because I have a full on LIBRARY, y’all.   It has all culminated into the day where I was on the eve of my first astrology conference.

It’s not just any conference.  It is THE conference where the top 3 astrological associations combine their resources every 4-6 years.  As luck would have it, the conference will be held 90 minutes from my home.  The synchronicities are everywhere.  I’ve been planning on going for over a year.  It will be the longest I have been away from my children since they were born almost 8 years ago.

I completely fan-girled my way through the week.  I freaked out that I was in the same room and learning from my mentors whose books and podcasts I’ve admired and gone back to over and over again.  I booked a reading with this brilliant astrologer as a client.  Thank goodness she taped it, because I had so much adrenaline I couldn’t hear straight for the first 30 minutes.  Seriously, if I could just download her brain, I’d be set.  But a funny thing happened:  as I listened to her, I realized I knew my basics.  In fact I knew more than the basics; I was truly advanced.  Her insights were the same ones I made years ago.  I was on the right track.  I immediately asked to be her apprentice, which I’m happy to say, she accepted.  (Happy is an understatement…I was doing a jig on the hotel room coffee table.)

Before the conference, I was frightened I would be in over my head.  And yes, there were lectures where I was barely following the math and others I felt I could have taught.  But there were also individuals who had said they had been consulting clients for almost a decade and were asking basic questions.  Good hell!  My radar alarm went off and I then worried about how to protect the profession from imposters.  It was just like social work, only about 20-30 years earlier.  Sure there are tests you can take for competency with each astrological association, but there isn’t one governing body or license.  And the tests are not uniform in their metrics of proficiency.  This eats at me.  I’ve been such a stickler for professional standards my whole social work career, it feels prickly to be in a free-formed avocation.  An advocation, I should mention that is essentially governed by Uranus, the planet of non-conformity.  I didn’t even know “professional astrologer” was a legit career until a few years ago.  At what point in your journey can you even call yourself a professional astrologer?

At this point, I am.  I am a professional astrologer.

COMMENTS

IN THE BEGINNING…URANUS AS A BIG BANG TO SOMETHING NEW

When can you officially call oneself a “professional astrologer”?  It’s a good question.  I went from that 10 year old kid scrounging up her nickels and quarters of my allowance every month to buy the little scrolls in the grocery store checkout.  I would pour over the dates wondering if my crush would finally notice me on the auspicious dates listed in that orange rolled up sacred writing.  I went into junior high and high school worried that my best friend (a Libra) and I (a Virgo) would have a falling out because she was air and I was water.  Every fight I had with my puppy love, I’d consult my Mom’s tattered book of astrology looking for ways to communicate.   I officially started learned about rising signs and gained interest in 1998, but the math was daunting so I dimmed the light for about 14 years as my clinical social work career took off.  But then my little candlelight for planets and motion and influence had a big bang around 2014.  All of a sudden it dawned on me, it was a legit thing to turn an interest into a profession.  I could do this with astrology.  I began to devour more books, talk to other astrologers, get readings to see what I could gain from their style (every time I realize I could do a better job on a professional presentation way), I found mentors.  And I even signed up for UAC, the biggest astrology conference that just *by coincidence* is being held 90 minutes away from me.  I even did this with the giant support of my husband.

A few months ago, I had a private “coming out” announcement at one of my book groups.  It is strangely daunting to announce to others that you are pursuing astrology. Calling oneself an “astrologer” is a big deal.  Its like a suit that you haven’t quite grown into.  And the reactions are pretty black and white:  either people start spilling their birth info for a free reading or you watch them mentally check the “weirdo” box in their head and place you in it.
Astrology is an art of blending the technical and the intuitive into a narrative and then connecting that with the individual’s experience.  You look at a piece of paper; a graph; a damn circle and you devine the knowledge of what makes that person unique, what makes them tick, and if you are truly skillful you can do this with timing for forecasting.In May,  my Uranus opposition occurred.  This only happens once in a life time around 44 years.  It is traditionally part of the midlife crisis trio of transits.  The others  are the Pluto square, the Neptune square, and the Saturn opposition.  It happened right before the big United Astrology Conference (UAC) in Chicago where I met mentors, colleagues, authors, from all over the world.  I had found my tribe.My natal Uranus sits right on my 9th/10th house cusps the top of my chart at 29 degrees Libra. The 10th house is the one who governs career and moving forward in the world. The top of a chart is the highest point in the wheel so any planets there have a unique role in making that individual seen in their public life.  Uranus is the planet of unexpected change or sudden shifts.   Uranus is also the planet that governs astrology.  Astrology career?  Yes, please with sugar on top.